Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
