Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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