My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
