Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
