he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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