I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
