I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize