You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
