My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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