I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
