Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There's always time for handjobs
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
