all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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