are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
