It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
