whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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