I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
