I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
