So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
