just tell him i said nine months
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
