Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
