We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
