so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
