Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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