fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.