Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
