i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
