Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
should my penis look like a turkey
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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