I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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