I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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