all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
