love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
