All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize