Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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