how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
