my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also, beer. Big fan.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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