I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
