8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
