wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
