You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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