If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
