you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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