If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
