am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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