If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
