2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
