I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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