so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
