i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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