so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
