be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
