I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
