I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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