Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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