I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
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