Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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