I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
