ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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