That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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