She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
