whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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