grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
