great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
