why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
wow bdsm is so cute
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
