I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
