This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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