When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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